Morning Routine Humorist Pillows

"Smiley face on bathroom mirror."

Morning Vacuum

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

"Are those my slippers?!"

'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'

'Household water use'

'Any chance of getting your alarm clock fixed?

"Bear with us, will you? -- We're having technical difficulties over here."

'I want a big breakfast.. there are a lot of contended female cats in the neighborhood this morning.'

'He isn't use to getting up this early.'

"Dang it."

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

Bad Hair Day

'This corn's got dandruff.'

'What time is it? The small hand is on the 6 and the cat's paw is on my chin.'

'Oh yeah? Try to sleep in when your dad is a rooster!'

Try to cut down on your salt intake.

"When did my 'just-woke-up' face become my 'all-day' face?"

'Hey Dad - you're shaving with my transistor radio!'

"It's not the going to work I mind . . . it's that they actually expect me to work when I'm there!"

Entertainment vs Get Serious Committees

'One slice of toast and a bottle of ketchup, please.'

Listen, Mom - someone in there must be ticklish!

'Cock-a-doodle... don't.'

"Ladies ladies, please. There's enough of me to go around."

Coffee Ladies

Voice on the webcam to man's dog - You're looking a bit rough this morning, John.

'And this one is for first thing in the morning.'

'Well, Mr. Grumpy, who got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?'

"Ed woke each morning at dawn to feed his pets, and each morning at dawn, Bruno and Luna frightened Ed. Yaaaaa! Wha? Who's there?!"

'I'm the toothpaste genie offering you a free dental plan!'