Early Morning Humorist Pillows

"I'm not used to being in court this early."

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'

'Household water use'

'I want a big breakfast.. there are a lot of contended female cats in the neighborhood this morning.'

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

"They should've called me for the sketch instead. She's not even funny. What a complete bomb-ala."

'He isn't use to getting up this early.'

After talking one stranger to death, Velma starts in on the next.

"Dang it."

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

"Don't rush me! I won't be much of a busy bee if I don't get my second cup of coffee."

'This corn's got dandruff.'

"And if he wants to keep his job, the early bird better get me a coffee, too."

Steak Lovers.

'What time is it? The small hand is on the 6 and the cat's paw is on my chin.'

"Yeah, mom. Ed's up before sunrise to fix the sink. So here I stand at the crack of dawn."

'I ordered a blueberry muffin - Not a Blackberry muffin!'

'Hey Dad - you're shaving with my transistor radio!'

'Don't worry! They're vegetarian!'

"The viewers seem to be sated with stupid shows, senseless movies and embarrassing celebs. That's why our black screen has got the best viewing figures!"

popcorn...

Kim Jong Un Riding Nuclear Missile

'One slice of toast and a bottle of ketchup, please.'

Cow sneezes milk at breakfast.

"I couldn't afford the gas for my car, so I robbed a bank but the police caught me because my car was out of gas."

Listen, Mom - someone in there must be ticklish!

"... Yes. And I'm wearing a mask, so what's the problem?!"

"Still a little sleepy, Tiger?"

'Cock-a-doodle... don't.'

Clocks. Why do you want two alarm clocks? Getting up is bad news and I want a second opinion.

"Your 5 A.M. is here."

'Typical, next door gets an image of Jesus on their toast, and we get Richard Branson!'

'I'm gonna tell Mom you ate a bad word!'

"Evenin' gents - what's yer poison..?"