Breakfast Humorist Pillows

'I want a big breakfast.. there are a lot of contended female cats in the neighborhood this morning.'

'If you have a referee in Football, what do you have in bowls?'

'This corn's got dandruff.'

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

Cake Free Zone

"Of course I've been drinking!"

'You've had enough!'

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'

"I'm your surrogate mother, son. I just provided the oven."

"Welcome to The Cable Cafe. Your waiter will be with you between now and 5:00PM."

'He isn't use to getting up this early.'

"Hey, Gary. Lois wanted to know if you’re up for waiting forever for reheated leftovers and sipping warm mimosas intended to ease the pain of poor service amid a cacophony of idiot tourists and 20-year-olds... you know, brunch."

'Looks like another typical caffeine overdose.'

"Why didn't you think of that before I put on the icing?"

Menu From The Luxury Home of Pancakes

'Sorry, Bob, but I'm having trouble taking our relationship seriously.'

"Well, team....time to trade our 'You Got This!' coffee mugs to the 'Mistakes Were Made' mugs."

To make your computer faster, please pour two cups of Espresso into your CD drive.

'What time is it? The small hand is on the 6 and the cat's paw is on my chin.'

'The thought of your biscuits brings a lump to my throat.'

Heirlooms of Tomorrow

Tea Cup Ride

'Waiter, a café with chairs, tables and two coffees please!'

Instant human... just add coffee

'One slice of toast and a bottle of ketchup, please.'

'The cereal killer has struck again, Sarge.'

'That's strange -- there seems to be a pop-tart in your disk drive.'

"Ladies ladies, please. There's enough of me to go around."

Listen, Mom - someone in there must be ticklish!

Caffeine-Free Kickstart Vending Machine