Morning Routine Comedians Gifts

Snake alarm clocks.

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

Waking Up With Rooster.

"Are those my slippers?!"

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

'Where my balls go?'

'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

Gah! My Timotei is dead. - 'But what have we here? Tresemme with orange, mango, and passionfruit.' - 'Mmmm... passionfruit...' - '*Glug* *Glug* *Glug*' -

"I hate to sound like a sergeant, Ralph, but it's ten minutes to six."

"Bear with us, will you? -- We're having technical difficulties over here."

'Any chance of getting your alarm clock fixed?

'He isn't use to getting up this early.'

"J'entends le poulet qui arrive!"

'The doctor said I was ready for solids, but not this solid!'

Bad Hair Day

'What's your favourite meal?' 'Seconds.'

'What time is it? The small hand is on the 6 and the cat's paw is on my chin.'

"When did my 'just-woke-up' face become my 'all-day' face?"

'I ordered a blueberry muffin - Not a Blackberry muffin!'

'Since we were first married, I vowed I'd never let Jim see me slopping around in the mornings with my hair in curlers!'

"You didn't have to do that, Simon. It tells you on the box if there's a free gift inside!"

Entertainment vs Get Serious Committees

"It's not the going to work I mind . . . it's that they actually expect me to work when I'm there!"

Cow sneezes milk at breakfast.

Clocks. Why do you want two alarm clocks? Getting up is bad news and I want a second opinion.

'This is an up and coming area. You may wish to shave before you buy the paper in future.'

"Ladies ladies, please. There's enough of me to go around."

Listen, Mom - someone in there must be ticklish!

'You've got mail.'

"Chinese food? I'll call it in if you'll pick it up."

'I'm gonna tell Mom you ate a bad word!'

'And this one is for first thing in the morning.'