Breakfast Comedians Gifts

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

Family working together

'So, that's where the blue water comes from!'

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

A tureen of chefs

'I want a big breakfast.. there are a lot of contended female cats in the neighborhood this morning.'

'Tastes just like my mother's pies because she too made hers from a mix.'

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

Receiving the early-morning T-mail.

His and Hernia's towels.

'You're in luck - My parents like you.'

'This decaf's lousy.'

'Hoping to help me with dinner, are you?'

"What's wrong, hon? You haven't touched my food."

"Our breakfast burrito is just like our lunch burrito, except it contains 876 mgs of caffeine."

"Some people call me a ball-buster, but I prefer cojones-crusher."

'This corn's got dandruff.'

'You have a file cabinet full of recipes you're printed off. The only way 99% of them will ever make it into our stomachs is if we the printer paper.'

'Did you ever realize that we're really drinking coffee out of large sippy cups?'

"There's a fly in my soup."

Baby Formula, Just Add Water.

"Don't take your list in there! What's wrong with you?!?"

"Oh, he has to lick the dishes clean before putting them away—he's terrible at loading the dishwasher."

"What is that creepy sound?" "Don't worry. It's just the ghost of the old dishwasher."

A waiter strictly adhering to his religion

'How's your liver?', 'Okay for now, but my doctor told me to take it easy.'

"Or was it: 'Bubble, bubble, TOIL and trouble?'"

"Here's a dish I used to cook for my late husband. If you want to try it just follow the recipe, but ignore the part where it mentions a pinch of arsenic."

"I'll be the best side dish ever."