Breakfast Comedians Gifts

What, you've never seen coffee with a worm in it? The Too-Early Bird.

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

Family working together

'So, that's where the blue water comes from!'

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

'I want a big breakfast.. there are a lot of contended female cats in the neighborhood this morning.'

A tureen of chefs

'Tastes just like my mother's pies because she too made hers from a mix.'

Receiving the early-morning T-mail.

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

His and Hernia's towels.

'You're in luck - My parents like you.'

'This decaf's lousy.'

'Hoping to help me with dinner, are you?'

"What's wrong, hon? You haven't touched my food."

"Our breakfast burrito is just like our lunch burrito, except it contains 876 mgs of caffeine."

'This corn's got dandruff.'

"Some people call me a ball-buster, but I prefer cojones-crusher."

'You have a file cabinet full of recipes you're printed off. The only way 99% of them will ever make it into our stomachs is if we the printer paper.'

"There's a fly in my soup."

"Or was it: 'Bubble, bubble, TOIL and trouble?'"

'How's your liver?', 'Okay for now, but my doctor told me to take it easy.'

"Don't take your list in there! What's wrong with you?!?"

'Did you ever realize that we're really drinking coffee out of large sippy cups?'

"What is that creepy sound?" "Don't worry. It's just the ghost of the old dishwasher."

"Oh, he has to lick the dishes clean before putting them away—he's terrible at loading the dishwasher."

A waiter strictly adhering to his religion

Baby Formula, Just Add Water.

'I ordered a blueberry muffin - Not a Blackberry muffin!'

"Here's a dish I used to cook for my late husband. If you want to try it just follow the recipe, but ignore the part where it mentions a pinch of arsenic."