Sleepytime Jokesters Pillows

'I'm going to hibernate in another cave. Last year your snoring kept me up all winter.'

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

'Mary had a little lamb - with mint jelly.'

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

Hypnotoon

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

Birds steal sleeping girl's shoelaces.

The downside of the cupcake bed.

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

'On the outside I'm all ho-ho-ho. But inside I feel weak and shaky, like a bowl full of jelly.'

'It's your turn, dear.'

"If you must paw something, why don't you hit the snooze button?"

'It's the most amazing case of rapid eye movement I've ever seen.'

Teddy sweeping up zzz

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

"Oh Oh . . . Looks like our five o'clock wake up call is here!"

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up EVERY HOUR during the night."

"Wanna trade an Easter ham salad for an Easter egg salad?"

Santa Claus

"Let's tell him we've been good. He probably won't call our bluff."

"Sarge, I think I've found the owner of that driverless sleigh discovered up north!"

'Those flashers make no sense to me. The less they have, the more they want to show it.'

Your fingers' worst nightmares

Things my cat says at 3 am

"But it's 3 o'clock in the morning. Okay, one word ... rhymes with liar."

Cat with mice on his bedpost.

'Honey, have you seen my suit?'

"Hi! I'm on the bus."

"Your snoring is really getting out of control."

"They were great snorers."