Sleep-deprived Jokester Pillows

'It's your turn, dear.'

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up EVERY HOUR during the night."

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Hypnotoon

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'

The downside of the cupcake bed.

"Today is my second birthday and I wanted to let you know that I intend to take full advantage of my terrible twos!"

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

"What time should we wake him for breakfast?"

'Peel is sleeping badly.' - 'He seems very bright.' - 'Yes.' - 'Bright babies often sleep badly.' - 'Waaaaah!' - 'I want a thick baby.' - 'Zzzzzzz'

'It's these sleeper terrorists, doctor. They're keeping me awake at night.'

"Oh Oh . . . Looks like our five o'clock wake up call is here!"

"How's the insomnia?"

Too-Humble Pie.

"Have you seen my sticks?"

'I've got to do something about my insomnia. I didn't sleep a wink at work today.'

Things my cat says at 3 am

'Mom, did you know that if you turn the clock upside down, '4:45' spells 'Shh?''

Your fingers' worst nightmares

Please tell me you were sleepswimming again.

Freezing Penguins

"Just go already!" "One could scarcely desire more delightful conditions for a nocturnal ramble..."

"I had a bad dream that you were getting rest."

"...I'd say your health was way below the poverty line!"

"Your snoring is really getting out of control."

Wireless Plans. Cellphone. No, "rollover minutes" has nothing to do with hitting the snooze alarm and going back to sleep.

"A child is like coffee. It's easy to make, but then won't let you sleep."

"I can't remember how to fall asleep. What do you have for insomnesia?"

'I told you not to drink coffee before hibernating!'

'I'll call you back. I'm sleepwalking.'

World ends at midnight. Have a nice day.

'I'm going to hibernate in another cave. Last year your snoring kept me up all winter.'