Technology Adopter Gifts

"I hear you have been split testing our online advertising campaign. I haven't got a clue what that is but stop it now."

Two years ago, during a special episode of the Ask Sadie show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Here is an actual reader letter: Dear Sadie, My son just taught me how to use an iPad, so I am writing to tell you that doing so makes me feel young again. You might want to try it. - Nathaniel from Ontario. Thank you for helping me feel young! I may not be as spry as I was back in the old days ... but at least I've never taken two whol

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'Bring out yer books!'

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

The Predictable Demise of Sir Textalot.

'It doesn't do anything, it's just a very pleasing shape!'

Moon Lander

Current location

"Welcome to the Museum of Science and Industry."

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"

John Bull presenting the building for the 1862 International Exhibition to Britannia

'Norbert, he's playing our ring tone.'

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

Beavers worshipping a chainsaw.

"Oh, just sitting back and letting algorithms do all the stock trading."

'Well great, he's seen it! There goes one more invention they'll get credit for!'

Vicar - Virtuous Reality

For some reason, whenever they're around me, they get out their phones.

'Mom, this is my new best friend -- I built him in computer class.'

"I must have completely lost track of time."

Let's work those arms -- newspaper, Blackberry...

"Television sets evolved from animals. My randpop remembers when they had rabbit ears!"

"You get a white robe, a halo, wings, and of course, free WIFI."

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

'Last month's technology' bin next to electronics store.

"So when do we go online?"

Cable Bill.

Gamers

'The sole purpose of this remote is to locate all the other remotes you have lost!'

"Deputy, round up a posse, I can't find my phone."

'We're looking for a wifi hotspot.'