Modern Tech Adopter Gifts

Dog using MP3 player scowls at dog that's still listening to gramophone player.

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

"I hear you have been split testing our online advertising campaign. I haven't got a clue what that is but stop it now."

"Their technological toys are nothing compared to the power of the supply side."

'Here comes Mr. 'Smarter-then-you'.'

"The Internet puts the world at your finger tips."

"We now allow our employees to send their drones in to work for them. It saves them time and money on gas."

"So when do we go online?"

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

Cable Bill.

"This tribe doesn't live totally off the grid. They're selling T-shirts off their website, and they have a huge social media following."

Two years ago, during a special episode of the Ask Sadie show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Here is an actual reader letter: Dear Sadie, My son just taught me how to use an iPad, so I am writing to tell you that doing so makes me feel young again. You might want to try it. - Nathaniel from Ontario. Thank you for helping me feel young! I may not be as spry as I was back in the old days ... but at least I've never taken two whol

'You're grounded... not you, the drone.'

"I'm on the haywain."

"We'll always have Paris. I backed it up on a zip drive."

The Painting Channel

'No, no briefcase... FLATSCREEN.'

"Darling, he's just said his first word."

"Would you please refrain from texting while I'm operating!"

Santa Claus uses drones to deliver presents on Christmas.

"Yeah, your drone is cool. But can you fly it upside down and cut the grass?"

Don't fly and text.

'This place called Hell ... does it have a website address?'

"Susanna Explaining Broadband to the Elders."

Man is watching TV on his smartphone instead of the big screen TV in front of him.

Computer Add Ons.

"I'm sorry, Rudolph, but empathetic soulsource crystal navigation has made that nose of yours pretty much obsolete."

''Swiper's Wrist.' I'm prescribing 7 to 10 days of 'Cash Purchases only.'

"For my second breast augmentation I added a WiFi hotspot."

"Nelson loves his Satellite Radio."

"I couldn't do my homework because the batteries died in my e-book."

Where's Waldo's Phone?