Modern Tech Fan Gifts

"My biometrics authentication just told me I needed a shave."

"Yeah, your drone is cool. But can you fly it upside down and cut the grass?"

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

STRIP Hambone: Paper work

The First Fire Stick

"I had an Android, then I switched to an iPhone. Then I went back to an Android, then I switched back to the iPhone. . ."

Drive in movies.

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

"I'm being punished. I have to stay out of Wi-Fi range for an hour."

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

"Their technological toys are nothing compared to the power of the supply side."

"The Internet puts the world at your finger tips."

"We now allow our employees to send their drones in to work for them. It saves them time and money on gas."

"So when do we go online?"

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

'And of course if you'e feeling patriotic today, we have here a new line of PCs produced by the federal government.'

"I looks like a Martian dropped their phone. And by the size of it, I hope they're friendly."

"Someone just pinched my mobile phone"

The Painting Channel

"We'll always have Paris. I backed it up on a zip drive."

'Due to budget cuts, all agents will now be equipped with x-ray glasses.'

"I asked my investment advisor for something that was low cost, easy to manage, and also functions on its own. He suggested an index fund or a robo vac."

"This tribe doesn't live totally off the grid. They're selling T-shirts off their website, and they have a huge social media following."

'You're grounded... not you, the drone.'

"I'm on the haywain."

'No, no briefcase... FLATSCREEN.'

"Darling, he's just said his first word."

"Would you please refrain from texting while I'm operating!"

'Uh-oh. They're bringing in the closer to secure the win.'

Milkshake Shortage

'I have to hang up now. I'm getting some static on another line.'

"I now offer DVR service for clients for want to see their future later."

TV Dinners, Now in High Definition.

Escalator joust.