Modern Tech Fan Pillows

"My biometrics authentication just told me I needed a shave."

"Yeah, your drone is cool. But can you fly it upside down and cut the grass?"

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

The First Fire Stick

STRIP Hambone: Paper work

Drive in movies.

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

"I'm being punished. I have to stay out of Wi-Fi range for an hour."

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

"Their technological toys are nothing compared to the power of the supply side."

"We now allow our employees to send their drones in to work for them. It saves them time and money on gas."

"The Internet puts the world at your finger tips."

"So when do we go online?"

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

'And of course if you'e feeling patriotic today, we have here a new line of PCs produced by the federal government.'

"I looks like a Martian dropped their phone. And by the size of it, I hope they're friendly."

"I'm on the haywain."

"I asked my investment advisor for something that was low cost, easy to manage, and also functions on its own. He suggested an index fund or a robo vac."

'Due to budget cuts, all agents will now be equipped with x-ray glasses.'

"We'll always have Paris. I backed it up on a zip drive."

"This tribe doesn't live totally off the grid. They're selling T-shirts off their website, and they have a huge social media following."

"Darling, he's just said his first word."

'You're grounded... not you, the drone.'

The Painting Channel

'No, no briefcase... FLATSCREEN.'

"Someone just pinched my mobile phone"

"Would you please refrain from texting while I'm operating!"

"I now offer DVR service for clients for want to see their future later."

'Uh-oh. They're bringing in the closer to secure the win.'

Milkshake Shortage

TV Dinners, Now in High Definition.

'I have to hang up now. I'm getting some static on another line.'

Escalator joust.

'That's New.'