Spiritual Tech Adopter Gifts

Cable Bill.

"I'm going on a retreat."

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"I hear you have been split testing our online advertising campaign. I haven't got a clue what that is but stop it now."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

First O.M.G. church.

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

Holy phone

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

You Have 1 New Messages

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

Palm Top Readings

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

Why god isn't listening...

'If your guru business is slow, do what I did. Get a professional website presence on the Internet. That's how you found me, right?'

Confession plugged up to an amp.

"We have a new app that does sin to atonement conversion."

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

"I got one of those new crystal ball fitness trackers-- it tells me all my future steps."

No Connection.

Binary meditation.

'He meditates,on the harmony of nature and the meaning of life for a few weeks, and then - Zap! - A new silicon chip.'

"Yes, Mom, I'm just finishing texting my prayers now!"

"I'm your guardian angel. But due to some technical glitz, I happen not to be invisible!"

Guru logs on to 'Why-fi'.

"Of course we have unlimited data..."

'Well, he's back from tech support.'