Technical Talk Endurer Gifts

"I dozed off- is he talking about bus shelters or tax shelters?"

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

"We don't talk anymore."

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

'The stuka brought you.'

'I need it for my electric blanket.'

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

Fancy Interfacing with you here.

The Before-You-Know It-It'll-Be-Obsolete Computer Company

"What a disappointment. When you said your dad was a troll, I thought he'd be living under a bridge."

All day I design high tech communication devices...yet at a party I'm lost without name tags.

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

High Tech/Low Tech.

"I am a control freak."

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

"Oh, Johnny. I feel like I'm beginning to know you almost as well as Facebook does!"

'You're insecure because your data is unsecured.'

"It's not you, it's me – I automatically updated overnight and we're no longer compatible."

In my day, we had to walk five miles uphill in the snow for high speed Internet access.

"The autocorrect function is redundant for me. I'm married."

'This new water cooler streamlines the gossip process - we get all the numbers and none of the fluff. The R.O.I. just sky rocketed!'

"Don't feel bad. Even I don't understand me."

"Baldo, did you finish your homework?"

"Other than fluent Emoji, what other languages do you speak?"

'I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that...'

"You're cute, but you don't look very strong."

'I'm sending you a text. . .how did people talk before sms messaging?'