Tech Debater Gifts

'Easily annoyed by nearby texting guests or not easily annoyed by nearby texting guests.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"No way. Lando, my friend. Lando." "There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek." "Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is." "That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files' anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day." "Stop!" "When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about." "That Kr

The Proust of Twitter

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

"We don't talk anymore."

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

'You present a very convincing argument.'

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

Stegosaurus (say the evolutionists). Nonsense (say the creationists).

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

''Science is nothing but trained and organized common sense' Thomas Huxley, 1825-1895.'

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

I can't keep up, Randy. What happened, little buddy? You know how I created a hate-bot to automate my back you up in online arguments business? Don't tell me: The Russian troll farms beat you to it. No. My hate-bot became sentient and created an even snarkier hate-bot. Mankind is officially obsolete. For an extra $1, the HB-1000 will throw in racism and misogyny.

The Before-You-Know It-It'll-Be-Obsolete Computer Company

"What a disappointment. When you said your dad was a troll, I thought he'd be living under a bridge."

All day I design high tech communication devices...yet at a party I'm lost without name tags.

''Relativity,' you say? — Well, it can't be any worse than your 'speed bump' theory.'

'Day is day and night is night. That's the opinion of the management of this station. Here with a rebuttal, is attorney...'

What'r We Doing Today, Daddy?

Popular and Unpopular Science

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

Doubts about Astrazeneca vaccine

"I know you're wrong, I just can't get the computer to say it yet."

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

Philosophie.fr Bulletin Board - 1936

"Not now, honey. Daddy's arguing with strangers about the sexual orientation of puppets."

"Sorry, Man! I had no idea Alexa would be here!"

"I can tell you about this article or you can just read the comments online."

High Tech/Low Tech.