Tech Debate Enthusiast Gifts

Google. Bing. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Google. Google! Bing, Bing, Bing! Amazon! Stop changing the subject.

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

In the Guru District

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Claus 2.0

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

Oligarchy

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Girl with smart phone enters door that says "Social Media Studies"

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

'Who changed the password to 'arf'?'

Annual run-off at the mouth.

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"That's the last time I'm going to allow politics to be discussed in the office."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

Ahem. I'm eating. Not now, please. Just one tiny question. Believers I American exceptionalism have always said we're the paragon of democracy. So I'm just wondering … How come one party is passing unnecessary laws that'll keep millions of us from voting? They're robbing us of our voice! Could've surprised me.

"Uh-oh...it's starting to delegate work to me."

Dialogue

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'