Technology Debaters Gifts

Mother teaching her children to read.

"All the other kids have high-powered computers."

The Proust of Twitter

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

Changing Minds

"No way. Lando, my friend. Lando." "There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek." "Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is." "That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files' anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day." "Stop!" "When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about." "That Kr

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

'You present a very convincing argument.'

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

Stegosaurus (say the evolutionists). Nonsense (say the creationists).

''Science is nothing but trained and organized common sense' Thomas Huxley, 1825-1895.'

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

''Relativity,' you say? — Well, it can't be any worse than your 'speed bump' theory.'

I can't keep up, Randy. What happened, little buddy? You know how I created a hate-bot to automate my back you up in online arguments business? Don't tell me: The Russian troll farms beat you to it. No. My hate-bot became sentient and created an even snarkier hate-bot. Mankind is officially obsolete. For an extra $1, the HB-1000 will throw in racism and misogyny.

What'r We Doing Today, Daddy?

Popular and Unpopular Science

"Not now, honey. Daddy's arguing with strangers about the sexual orientation of puppets."

"We went with an open floor plan because it can really facilitate a shared sense of hysteria."

"I know you're wrong, I just can't get the computer to say it yet."

High Tech/Low Tech.

"Of course you couldn't be replaced by an app. It would take at least two."

"I can tell you about this article or you can just read the comments online."

"Sorry, Man! I had no idea Alexa would be here!"

Philosophie.fr Bulletin Board - 1936

Doubts about Astrazeneca vaccine

"Wow! I never knew the Vancouver Island marmot is among the rarest animals in the world! Pretty cool, huh?"

'When I was young we didn't have the interweb at our fingertips. . . we had to go to the library to get our questions answered!'

GM Scarecrow

Modern Nursery Rhymes

"This is where petrophysics leaves off, and petrochemistry steps in."

'Don't internalise that simmering rage -- get it out of your system on website comments sections.'