Teasing Spouse Gifts

"Stop kidding yourself, Frank. It's not summer fiction -- it's chick lit."

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

Tartar sauce.

"I love what you've done with him."

'No, you don't have hemorrhoids. You have a case of himorrhoids, has your husband been a pain in the butt, lately?'

"You say that I love the Liverpool football team more than I love you?...."

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

"Very funny."

'I've been offered early retirement but my wife won't let me take it.'

Banana striptease...

"Oh my, you're a dirty little weasel, aren't you darling?!"

Hit Me

'I don't like the look of yours...'

'Dad... He's still making faces at me!'

Your brother's just teasing you, dear - I'm sure he didn't lick every one of them.

"If I had a million dollars, I'd buy myself a new car, a new house for Dad and new clothes for Tia Carmen!"

'Hey Goldie, the house is on fire!' 'Wow, I just found out the world is round!' 'I hear they're gonna make gloves out of you.'

Really tall guy with a 'Kick Me' sign attached.

'My client was goaded into committing the crime, Your Honor -- he pleads not guilty by reason of teasin'.'

"I'm wearing new cologne. I hope Smiley is able to control herself around me today."

'My dad says I'm good at training little animals - Sit, boy!'

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."

"So is that enough 'putting out' for you?"

Jeffrey's Time Machine: 'This is why I hate talking to Geeky science boys!!'

"Did we switch everything off before we left?"

"Gracie, no matter how smart-pants you are...I still love you."

Teddy Tree is trying out for lacrosse. LOL! No way! That spazoid nerd? Hey! No one disses my little brother! Ok. Ok! Sorry! That's my job.

'Better ease up on the goodnatured barbs...'

'It's a shame really, he used to have his leg pulled a lot when he was a boy.'

"Will you stop saying 'I thought you liked a bit of rough...!!'"

"Will you stop saying I hit a birdie on that last hole! Is it my fault that bird flew into the path of my ball?"

'When you take off your glasses and put a bag over your head you're gorgeous!'