Teasing Spouse Pillows

"Stop kidding yourself, Frank. It's not summer fiction -- it's chick lit."

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

"I love what you've done with him."

Tartar sauce.

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

"Very funny."

'I've been offered early retirement but my wife won't let me take it.'

Banana striptease...

Hit Me

"Oh my, you're a dirty little weasel, aren't you darling?!"

'I don't like the look of yours...'

'Dad... He's still making faces at me!'

'Hey Goldie, the house is on fire!' 'Wow, I just found out the world is round!' 'I hear they're gonna make gloves out of you.'

"If I had a million dollars, I'd buy myself a new car, a new house for Dad and new clothes for Tia Carmen!"

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."

'My client was goaded into committing the crime, Your Honor -- he pleads not guilty by reason of teasin'.'

"I'm wearing new cologne. I hope Smiley is able to control herself around me today."

Really tall guy with a 'Kick Me' sign attached.

'My dad says I'm good at training little animals - Sit, boy!'

"So is that enough 'putting out' for you?"

"Gracie, no matter how smart-pants you are...I still love you."

Jeffrey's Time Machine: 'This is why I hate talking to Geeky science boys!!'

"Did we switch everything off before we left?"

'It's a shame really, he used to have his leg pulled a lot when he was a boy.'

'Better ease up on the goodnatured barbs...'

"Why'd you get this fake beard?"

"Will you stop saying I hit a birdie on that last hole! Is it my fault that bird flew into the path of my ball?"

"Will you stop saying 'I thought you liked a bit of rough...!!'"

'When you take off your glasses and put a bag over your head you're gorgeous!'