Spouse Teasing Pillows

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

"Very funny."

'I've been offered early retirement but my wife won't let me take it.'

Banana striptease...

"Oh my, you're a dirty little weasel, aren't you darling?!"

Hit Me

'I don't like the look of yours...'

Roach Motel

'Hey Goldie, the house is on fire!' 'Wow, I just found out the world is round!' 'I hear they're gonna make gloves out of you.'

'So, you're married to my ex-husband?'

'My dad says I'm good at training little animals - Sit, boy!'

"Stop kidding yourself, Frank. It's not summer fiction -- it's chick lit."

"You're obviously under consideration for something."

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."

"I'm wearing new cologne. I hope Smiley is able to control herself around me today."

"So is that enough 'putting out' for you?"

Really tall guy with a 'Kick Me' sign attached.

"Well, I thought installing a kitchen faucet without having to call the plumber was a pretty good 'praise'."

"Wake up Jeff. You're snoring again!"

"Gracie, no matter how smart-pants you are...I still love you."

"Did we switch everything off before we left?"

Jeffrey's Time Machine: 'This is why I hate talking to Geeky science boys!!'

"I love you but I love my chocolate fudge sundae more."

"When you have a minute love, my 'new man' t-shirt needs ironing."

'It's a shame really, he used to have his leg pulled a lot when he was a boy.'

The last argument - Did not/Did too.

"Will you stop saying I hit a birdie on that last hole! Is it my fault that bird flew into the path of my ball?"

'Your boy friend go home yet?'