Spouse Chuckler Pillows

"Well, I thought installing a kitchen faucet without having to call the plumber was a pretty good 'praise'."

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

'I promise you we'll have him out of here real fast... we need the rest.'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

'Someone told him life begins at forty. Now he's reserving his energies!'

'When we were first married, he was all 'Cock-A-Doodle-Do.' Now, he's just 'Cock-A-Doodle-Don't.''

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

Amen Corner: 'I say 'Aeemeen'...'Aeeemeeen'...'Aeeeeeemeeen'.'

"That's where I do 'my business'."

"I'm sorry, James...but I'm afraid Jelly Beans aren't a vegetable!"

"Goddam Dogs."

Re-explore familiar surroundings. You may come across some fresh, new surprises!

"I now pronounce you man and wife... Would you be interested in purchasing a maintenance agreement?"

'Time's up, chuckles.'

"If she can find all the bones she's buried, she's my next investment counselor."

All Day Parking $1. Leave keys. It may be necessary to move your car to a more convenient spot.

The last argument - Did not/Did too.

"I'm not on the train today dear, I've got flu."

'Why am I not allowed to use this agricultural road, officer? My wife always calls me 'stupid ox''!

Thank God for the misfits and dregs of society!

'Forget the golf. I just got a nibble!'

'Mr Darling has gone into shock, he missed his train - it arrived and left on time!'

'Poor, dumb, ignorant dog! Has no idea we're about to scare him to DEATH!!!'

'Couldn't get insurance for my sled.'

'Never ever will I move by train again.'

"I didn't jump, I fell asleep waiting."

'We have weapons of mass disruption.'