Spouse Banter Lover Pillows

'Why am I not allowed to use this agricultural road, officer? My wife always calls me 'stupid ox''!

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

An Archeologic Dig

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

Cold caller.

When Stupid People Get an Idea

The Gilmore Girls

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

"Whadd ya wanna be for Halloween, Bro?"

"Why, Mr. Conly, I do believe you're trying to get me hydrated."

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

"I may have bird legs but at least I don't have crow's feet."

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

'Here comes Ted.'

"I can't use the computer tonight -- Dad has to scroll to his year of birth."

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

'You can't make a wit out of two half wits.'

"When we get inside, remember to use your indoor whining and complaining voice."

'How long will it be until he can sit up and take the criticism?'