Teacher Appreciation Week Gifts

Plagiarism by Billy Widmore It was the best of times it was the worst of times. Four score and seven years ago, Quoted the raven nevermore...

Teacher faints: 'The day the entire 6th grade class turned their homework in on time.'

"Why in the world do they call this approach 'cooperative learning'?"

First addition, then subtraction, then multiplication, and now this! Where is it all going to end?"

Ms. Hudson had noticed a sharp decline in misbehavior ever since the rear-view mirrors were installed.

'Your assignment, should you choose to accept, is to increase educational standards while support services dwindle.'

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

Teachers' Support Group...Formerly Teachers' Lounge.

'Are you playing truant sir?'

'It's your headmaster, Fatty. He's worried you're being bullied at school.'

"Of course, that's only a first draft."

Teacher with work box: 'You could do better work.'

'They say my tests are too hard. Maybe I should switch from Essay to Connect-the-Dot.'

'If 'v' is the number of qualified physics teachers, and 'c' is the number of unqualified science teachers, this factor reduces to zero.'

"I figure whatever doesn't kill me gets me one day closer to stress leave."

A Major Refresher Course is in Order.

'For show and tell today I've brought in the report cards of our teacher, which I downloaded!'

Owt of werk inglish teecher (out of work english teacher)

'When I asked you to do research for your assignment, I meant the library not on Google!'

'Ah, the intoxicating smell of freshly photocopied educational surveys ready to be collated, distributed, and discarded.'

'For show and tell I downloaded our teacher's credit report from the internet,'

'Here - I did my math homework, but the details are still sketchy.'

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

'The thing I most need to improve the educational outcomes of my class are some bright students!'

"I take it you had lunchroom duty today?"

'I would've done my homework, but they kept saying 'stay tuned'.'

'It's worse than you think, sir -- those are the teachers' average reading scores.'

"I thought it was pretty good, for a book."

Kid to fallen teacher: 'Will this be on the test?'

"The creative writing part is that I've created new ways to spell words."

"It's still in beta."

'That's where they go to lick their wounds.'

Help. High performing teacher trapped in low performing pay scale.

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

"Instead of giving me an apple to show your appreciation, I'll settle for you not hacking into my computer."