Teacher Appreciation Day Gifts

"I believe that's a Montessori school."

'Thank you for pretending you understand Kierkegaard.'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

'Your x-ray shows an enlarged heart. It's nothing to worry about. All teachers have a big heart.'

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

'I must be more progressive, I must be more progressive...'

'I am going to close my eyes and cover my ears. I expect the student who took my chair, my desk and my chalkboard to bring them back.'

"There's nothing to be scared of, Mrs. Miller, it's just another teaching tool!"

'I know I can train them to be thoughtful productive citizens if I can ever get past sit.'

'Your lectures cured my sleep disorder.'

'I know the kids don't like you and pick on you, but you have to go to school...you're the teacher.'

'The challenge in teaching junior high is that the maturity levels can fluctuate from 12th grade to 3rd grade in a matter of seconds.'

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

"How do we make sure the students' voices are heard, but get them to be quiet at the same time?"

'I didn't read that scene, but I did highlight several passages.'

'How do you explain losing someone, Miss Marsh? It was a virtual field trip.'

'C'mon get it straight.'

'Al, this is Jack. He's with the Committee to Eliminate the Board of Education. Jack, this is Al. He's with the Committee to Increase Funding for the Board of Education.'

A teacher walks into a classroom full of chatting students; once he starts to talk the students fall asleep.

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

'And if you ever doubt your solutions, simply refer to this formula.'

"Today we learn all about books. Does everyone have their tablets?"

"Do we have to use our inside voices through clenched teeth like you, Ms. Baker?"

"Hey, you guys, don't you remember? The big word here is 'compromise.' "

'If the key to effective classroom management is consistency, I guess I'm an effective classroom manager, I am consistently exhausted at the end of the day.'

The best PE teacher in the World.

"If it's such an important book, how come it hasn't been turned into a movie?"

"If I ever go to Japan, I'm sure the pilot will be able to find it, so why do I have to know where it is?"

'The early bird always catches the worm...'

'Today, class, we learn how to divide 25 books among 34 students.'

'My fortune says 'A teacher's warmth makes the best curriculum so much better'.'

'Please pay attention. Pretend I'm a movie on your phone.'