Teacher Appreciation Day Pillows

"I believe that's a Montessori school."

'Thank you for pretending you understand Kierkegaard.'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

'Your x-ray shows an enlarged heart. It's nothing to worry about. All teachers have a big heart.'

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

'I must be more progressive, I must be more progressive...'

'I am going to close my eyes and cover my ears. I expect the student who took my chair, my desk and my chalkboard to bring them back.'

"Every day it's the same. My class starts out as Sesame Street and ends up as Jerry Springer."

Drama class

'I know the kids don't like you and pick on you, but you have to go to school...you're the teacher.'

'Your lectures cured my sleep disorder.'

'I know I can train them to be thoughtful productive citizens if I can ever get past sit.'

"There's nothing to be scared of, Mrs. Miller, it's just another teaching tool!"

'The challenge in teaching junior high is that the maturity levels can fluctuate from 12th grade to 3rd grade in a matter of seconds.'

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

"How do we make sure the students' voices are heard, but get them to be quiet at the same time?"

'I didn't read that scene, but I did highlight several passages.'

'C'mon get it straight.'

'How do you explain losing someone, Miss Marsh? It was a virtual field trip.'

'Al, this is Jack. He's with the Committee to Eliminate the Board of Education. Jack, this is Al. He's with the Committee to Increase Funding for the Board of Education.'

'And if you ever doubt your solutions, simply refer to this formula.'

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

A teacher walks into a classroom full of chatting students; once he starts to talk the students fall asleep.

"Today we learn all about books. Does everyone have their tablets?"

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

"Do we have to use our inside voices through clenched teeth like you, Ms. Baker?"

The best PE teacher in the World.

"Hey, you guys, don't you remember? The big word here is 'compromise.' "

'Today, class, we learn how to divide 25 books among 34 students.'

"If I ever go to Japan, I'm sure the pilot will be able to find it, so why do I have to know where it is?"

"If it's such an important book, how come it hasn't been turned into a movie?"

Teacher Reading Book Upside-Down to Class.

'If the key to effective classroom management is consistency, I guess I'm an effective classroom manager, I am consistently exhausted at the end of the day.'