Taxpayer Gifts

Tax Man Deducts A Witch's Broom As A Travel Expense

'I have to hand it to you, you're always ahead of me!'

'Any other ways you 'give back' than to the I.R.S.?'

'Hey! Roll a mile in my shoes!'

Who Will Pay?

'Oh, yeah, they're cute until you can no longer claim them as dependents on your tax return.'

Sorry, you can't claim depreciation on your wife.

About this dependant of yours...

'Even after death you must pay a tax - the sin tax, , ,'

IRS, 'You have to mail us your return, Mr. Fogarty -- phoning in a pledge isn't enough.'

"My costs are up - I'll need more money..."

'Do you remember my old classmate Bob? He was always honest. He worked like a dog and never was a tax dodger or a moonlighter and he never had debts. Last week, he was found starved to death in a subway tunnel...'

I got caught cheating in my tax return.

'Your money? -- does it or does it not have 'United States Treasury' printed on it?'

IRS, 'Oh, you needn't be unduly concerned, sir -- this year, we're auditing everybody with silly mustaches.'

IRS Audits. That's your fourth "honest" mistake in a row!

"Why can't I deduct my restaurant bills as medical expenses? If I didn't eat, I'd get sick."

"While I am a taxpayer and I might be a horse's arse I don't like being treated like one."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

G7 Tax Multinational Companies

"Just remember if we don't enjoy it we can claim it as a tax-deductible business meeting..."

"It's the new simplified tax demand from HMRC. . . Three Questions - How much did you earn last year? How much have you got left? And how soon can you send it. . .?"

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

I don't think we can survive here. There's little chance we can afford the taxes.

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

Lots of famous art may have been inspired by taxes. Jackson Pollack's "Number 5" could be a visual representation of global regulations. And perhaps Rodin's "The Thinker" is a man trying to understand those rules. Maybe Roy Lichtenstein's "Ohhh ... Alright ..." shows a woman being told to continue holding to get her tax question answered. And they there's Edvard Munch's "The Scream" ... Nothing makes you feel like that more than preparing a tax return!

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Are you ready for your FISCAL examination?'

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

I'm afraid neatness doesn't count, Mrs Wilson