Tax Collector Gifts

"Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing!"

'Mind if I go in first?'

"As part of out customer care charter it's been decided that you don't need to give us your pants until tomorrow."

C.S.I.R.S.

'My horoscope says I'll be noticed by people who count.'

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

" ... well yes, technically this is waterfront property, but ... "

"It's the government, they've spent all our taxes and want to know if we can send them some more."

"Brrr - it was so cold today I had my hands in my own pockets instead of someone elses!"

Hi, I'm a taxman...

"Have you considered a change of career? We're recruiting tax collectors..."

'A bill of rights? It's hard enough collecting taxes the way it is!'

"I wanted to pay my tax with a smile...but the inland revenue insisted I gave them cash."

Gravestone: Go ahead, bill me.

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"Be careful - these things have consequences. Tax consequences."

"Chaunce! It's for you!"

'I can't help it if I'm not a loveable type. It's genetic. I come from a long line of IRS agents.'

"We're with the IRS. We have reason to believe you may have counted your chickens before they hatched."

"That's our money! It never belonged to you. We're from the IRS and we'll do as we please."

"That's strange. I had your bill here somewhere..."

"Oh, no. Death AND taxes."

Royal tax collector: 'You say you rob from the rich and give to the poor, but you srill need receipts.'

'The sales tax isn't working, sire... Nobody has enough money to buy anything.'

Tis Better to Give than Deceive

To promote family values, I propose we establish a 'marriage-breakup tax!'

'Oh yeah? How can I be sure it stands for Island Rescue Service?'

'Service is just a pastime, pal - my job is to collect taxes.'

All cheats are equal, but some are more equal than others.

"There's the man who ripped my Rolex off my wrist!"

'You won't fall down! Trust me, as a tax collector, I know how to put a noose around someone's neck!'

This position is called 'The Tax Collector'.

'Any discount for cash?'