Debt Collector Gifts

"If you've already sent payment, please disregard this notice."

'If you've already sent in your payment, kindly disregard this friendly reminder.'

'Faster! The auditors are half way down the hall!'

'Looks like you're underwater on your mortgage.'

Man at Optometrists and reading an eye chart that spells out 'PAY ME WHAT YOU OWE ME',

'I'm putting you in charge of overdue accounts.'

"Do we accept PayPay? We accept any method that pays, pal."

Cashflow - "No, don't put the cheque in the post - I'll send someone round to pick it up."

Top 10 Things I'd Rather Be Doing Instead of Collecting Late Payments

Trophies of debt collector's heads.

"Come on, I know you're in there, I can see your eye through the peep-hole!"

'Let me through, I'm a creditor!'

"Relax, you only missed one payment. Don't beat yourself up. That's my job."

'Good news. Your blood pressure has dropped after my collection agency stopped sending you threatening messages.'

"I'll take this too"

'Your account is overdue so the doctor is sending you to a specialist...our collection agency.'

It's more insolvent abuse from an unpaid creditor.'

The Grim Repo - 'Chill,dude. I'm just here for your car...'

"Great idea, boss! I think this will really help collecting outstanding receivables!"

"I happen to work for a collection agency. How would you like to work for me?"

'Accounts, I have an overdue payment notice for you.'

'I'm sorry, Mr. Dillman, but you're seven months behind on your payments for your pacemaker.'

'It's the bank's Small Business Advisor to see you, dear.'

He's going to help us with our late payers' problem.

'Honey, I think we missed a repayment.'

"We're from Student Loans—we came to repo your B.A."

'You can't live like there's no tomorrow, and then live tomorrow.'

'I received your cheque twice, once from you and once from the bank.'

'If you refuse to open the door, we have the authority to huff and puff, and blow your house down.'

'It says, please disregard this reminder if your payment has already been sent.'

'Phones don't convey the menace ... I mean ... the personal touch of debt collection.'

"I'll be blunt. You don't have much time. In three days I'm turning this over to a collection agency."

David and Goliath(?)

'You should see their 'late payment' letter- it has frowny faces all over it!'

Debt Collection Agency.