Debt Collector Gifts

"If you've already sent payment, please disregard this notice."

'If you've already sent in your payment, kindly disregard this friendly reminder.'

'Looks like you're underwater on your mortgage.'

'Faster! The auditors are half way down the hall!'

Man at Optometrists and reading an eye chart that spells out 'PAY ME WHAT YOU OWE ME',

'I'm putting you in charge of overdue accounts.'

Cashflow - "No, don't put the cheque in the post - I'll send someone round to pick it up."

Top 10 Things I'd Rather Be Doing Instead of Collecting Late Payments

Trophies of debt collector's heads.

"Relax, you only missed one payment. Don't beat yourself up. That's my job."

'Let me through, I'm a creditor!'

'Good news. Your blood pressure has dropped after my collection agency stopped sending you threatening messages.'

"Come on, I know you're in there, I can see your eye through the peep-hole!"

'Your account is overdue so the doctor is sending you to a specialist...our collection agency.'

It's more insolvent abuse from an unpaid creditor.'

"I'll take this too"

'Accounts, I have an overdue payment notice for you.'

"I happen to work for a collection agency. How would you like to work for me?"

'It's the bank's Small Business Advisor to see you, dear.'

"Great idea, boss! I think this will really help collecting outstanding receivables!"

"We're from Student Loans—we came to repo your B.A."

He's going to help us with our late payers' problem.

'Honey, I think we missed a repayment.'

"I'll be blunt. You don't have much time. In three days I'm turning this over to a collection agency."

'You should see their 'late payment' letter- it has frowny faces all over it!'

'Phones don't convey the menace ... I mean ... the personal touch of debt collection.'

'I received your cheque twice, once from you and once from the bank.'

'You can't live like there's no tomorrow, and then live tomorrow.'

'It says, please disregard this reminder if your payment has already been sent.'

David and Goliath(?)

'If you refuse to open the door, we have the authority to huff and puff, and blow your house down.'

"Tell Her Highness I think the people from the collection agency are here."

'I told you we were in trouble financially. Our building has been repossessed.'

Debt Collection Agency.

'I can't help it if I'm not a loveable type. It's genetic. I come from a long line of IRS agents.'