Student Loan Collector Gifts

"Do you mind if I go first."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'In the future, if we're a little late with your allowance, don't just automatically turn it over to a collection agency.'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'You shouldn't have.'

The Boss.

Company profit making scheme - Jenkins, you owe us £327.95.

'If you don't pay us, I'll tell all your creditors you have.'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

'So far more education hasn't helped me get a job. I think I'll get some student loans and get some more education.'

'It says, please disregard this reminder if your payment has already been sent.'

J.P.Hensmore Superintendent AKA Head Honcho, The Big Guy,The Man, Numero Uno and The Big Cheese.

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"I'm going to be in the 7th grade before I get all my pre-school loans paid off."

'This charge is for the office visit, this charge is for blood work, and this charge just about pays off the doc's school loan.'

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

Delinquent Accounts - Day Late, Dollar Short.

It's an I-O-Ewe.

'Your investments in sub prime mortgages have become collectors items now! Aren't you excited?'

"Congratulations J.L., I hear you're getting another 'really' in your title."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"I wonder what this was for."

'Looks like you're underwater on your mortgage.'

'How old is this vase?'