Student Loan Counselor Gifts

Student Loan Lenders Are Predatory

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Ethics exam cheater.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"What's a debenture?"

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

"The Langmore Regional High School Inner Debate Team"

"In economics, I got an IOU."

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

'Jerry's 'old school'.'

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

"Knapsack? It's a solar-powered, bluetooth, Wi-Fi, self-charging, two shoulder GenPak with smartphone charger and GPS."

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

"My brother thinks he's a chicken... He's crazy."