Student Counselor Gifts

'Choose rich parents.'

"Life is full of transitions...like from student loan to credit card debt."

"So where do you see yourself fitting into late stage capitalism?"

"It's this marvelous little liberal-arts college in Kansas that gives frequent-flier miles."

Truth In Education

Do Not Pass. Just like high school.

Student Athlete Counseling Center: 'I do the play by play!' - 'And I do the color!'

'Does it occur to you that seeking career and personal fulfillment at university is the plot of some mad scientist?'

"It's important that you complete the course."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

Ethics exam cheater.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'Look, you can only do so much!'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Licensed Therapist

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

America, are we learning anything?

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.