School Counselors Gifts

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

Sex Education Class - "Today in class I'll be explaining where your babies come from."

'The grades aren't MY fault - I think Mrs. Pomeroy is teaching-disabled.'

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

"Okay, I guess....first we had a lockdown drill, then we had an active shooter drill. Following that we had a fire drill. After that we got to meet out security guards. Then we watched a video on avoiding sexual predators...."

"Bye Honey, just taking Junior to school."

'Let's just say that he could grow up to be Vice-President.'

"Todd has been an eager participant in our sex-education program."

"So your grades are plummeting and you've stopped trying because you came to the realization that 'school is overrated'?"

"We'll tell him about sex if you like, Ms Smith, but he might find your version more convincing"

Kids talking street slang. Parent: "Their foreign language lessons are going well."

'It's Johnny Taylor's snowsuit, but I don't think he's in there.'

School for the Blind and School for the Inattentive.

Then and now: how bullying has changed in schools.

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

Ethics exam cheater.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'Look, you can only do so much!'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

America, are we learning anything?

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Licensed Therapist

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."