School Guidance Counselor Gifts

"Your aptitude is important, but more important for success is your attitude."

Ethics exam cheater.

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"The Langmore Regional High School Inner Debate Team"

"In economics, I got an IOU."

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

'Jerry's 'old school'.'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'In general, do the right thing.'

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"Knapsack? It's a solar-powered, bluetooth, Wi-Fi, self-charging, two shoulder GenPak with smartphone charger and GPS."

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

Yes, I agree that man is a master of his own destiny but sometimes it helps if you pass algebra.

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

CHAUCER 411, 'Boy -- that guy spells worse than I do!'

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

Don't you hate...

Always remember...you're the best you in the world.