Parental Guidance Counselor Gifts

'You're not living up to your potential!'

Soccer Moms

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

'In general, do the right thing.'

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

Yes, I agree that man is a master of his own destiny but sometimes it helps if you pass algebra.

'Never underestimate the value of pipe-dreams, my son.'

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

"Be afraid to try new things!"

Thunk! Teddy! Pick them up! They're toxic to all living things! Ok. Ok. But you don't have to exaggerate. Regrettably � I'm not.

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

Icarus, you are not flying anywhere until you put on some sunscreen.

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

"How else will I know when I'm clean as a hound's tooth?"

"You know, son, you're not going to get anywhere just gliding around all the time!"

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

"Use your head, follow your heart and go with your gut."

"Have you considered vlogging?"

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

'At least hanging around street corners reminds us we're at a crossroads in our lives.'

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

Warring parents

'I thought I'd put in the details later.'

"It's really hard to make any plans. By the time we grow up there will be all new jobs that nobody's ever heard of!"

Mom's The Boss

"I'd like to apply for the work-study program."

"I want to be a Jockey."

Chère Maman

You were warned about mixed marriages!