Parent Counselor Gifts

'You look down, son. You wanna rock about it?'

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

'Never underestimate the value of pipe-dreams, my son.'

"What do I think is an appropriate punishment? I think an appropriate punishment would be to make me live with my guilt."

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

"Is this where the breakout session on adolescent behavior meets?"

"It's all significantly less impressive once you realize these guys had free child care."

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

"You know, son, you're not going to get anywhere just gliding around all the time!"

Warring parents

Mom's The Boss

Interpreters.

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

"Your dad sure worries a lot."

The Supreme Court, Juvenile Divisio: "As usual, the obvious precedent for this case is the children v. Mommy."

'I may not be able to smack you, but it won't stop the 'Bogie Man' coming to get you if you are naughty !'

"Oh, don't jump. But at least learn to code."

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

'Parenting skills don't come naturally. You learn from the experience of screwing up your kids just like your parents did.'

A Victorian park.

'Access to the kids? No. I want access to the computer equipment.'

"Yes, but that does not constitute 'irreconcilable differences'."

'I don't mind them, but I would like to see my daughter getting married to one of them!'

"So was the old lady who lived in a shoe taken to court for whipping her kids."

"They grow so fast. In my day, you didn't become morbidly obese until adulthood."

"Would you explain to your son that there's no free agency in T-ball?"

'It's making me happy.'