School Counseling Gifts

Guidance Counsellor: 'Today I was visited by nine students and two teachers.'

Yes, I agree that man is a master of his own destiny but sometimes it helps if you pass algebra.

'If you're going to be a rich man's plaything be the best darned rich man's plaything you can be.'

Ethics exam cheater.

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

'Another football scholarship offer?'

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"The Langmore Regional High School Inner Debate Team"

"In economics, I got an IOU."

'Jerry's 'old school'.'

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

"Don't blame me for the grade, blame Google's algorithms."

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"Knapsack? It's a solar-powered, bluetooth, Wi-Fi, self-charging, two shoulder GenPak with smartphone charger and GPS."

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

CHAUCER 411, 'Boy -- that guy spells worse than I do!'

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

Don't you hate...

Child finding school too hard.

Always remember...you're the best you in the world.

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"