School Counseling Gifts

Guidance Counsellor: 'Today I was visited by nine students and two teachers.'

Yes, I agree that man is a master of his own destiny but sometimes it helps if you pass algebra.

'If you're going to be a rich man's plaything be the best darned rich man's plaything you can be.'

Ethics exam cheater.

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"The Langmore Regional High School Inner Debate Team"

"In economics, I got an IOU."

'Jerry's 'old school'.'

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

"Knapsack? It's a solar-powered, bluetooth, Wi-Fi, self-charging, two shoulder GenPak with smartphone charger and GPS."

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"Don't blame me for the grade, blame Google's algorithms."

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

CHAUCER 411, 'Boy -- that guy spells worse than I do!'

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

Child finding school too hard.

Don't you hate...

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"