School Therapist Gifts

counselor: 'How about joining the glee club? They're an awfully lot of fun!'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

Ethics exam cheater.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'Look, you can only do so much!'

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Licensed Therapist

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"