Adolescent Therapist Gifts

'You can argue until you're blue in the face, Todd. But you rolled your eyes, and Adolescent Ref is not going to change his mind!'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

Alice in Wonderland - six impossible things before breakfast

Welcome to your new English Class.

'Beware of the teenager.'

'Dad, can I borrow the club tonight?'

'Of course I'm depressed. I've run out of places to pierce.'

Mentoring Unit: 'Go on! You can do it! You can be a mentor!'

'Now while you're cranking the Jack in the Box Tommy, I want you to tell me your thoughts.'

"Yeah, I've noticed it too: Young Master's smell has changed a lot since he's become a teenager..."

"He's gonna be bad for business."

"Okay, I guess....first we had a lockdown drill, then we had an active shooter drill. Following that we had a fire drill. After that we got to meet out security guards. Then we watched a video on avoiding sexual predators...."

Teens.

Be 5 Again

'What does the Scout manual say about this situation?'

'I'm not enjoying my childhood, I'm dealing with it.'

"He doesn't like dinosaurs."

"They think I don't have a clue."

'Apart from illiteracy, low self esteem, homelessness, poverty and a broken home. I can't find any reason for his offending behaviour!'

'Can you prove it's your hat?'

'Adolescents act like babies when they aren't treated like adults!'

Respect Zone: 'We respect yobs.'

Criminal Youths Need Help Instead of Punishment!

"I think I'll be more relaxed once my secondary sex characteristics kick in."

Boy running away to join circus, clown running away to city.

'Mom, Dad, you've never believed in me! How come nobody believes in me?'

"I don't CARE if Tracey Emin's unmade bed sold for £440,000...I STILL want you to clean your room!"

Kangaroo - Son, it's time you moved out.

"My mom has a new boyfriend, my dad has a new girlfriend and all I got was a new therapist."

"That cross is not divine. It's a symbol of how out of control things can get when a teenager lies about how she got pregnant."

"Think the unthinkable, move out."

'Your parents are worried about you. You're not rebellious, you don't take any substances, you don't have raging hormones...'

'I'm sure I'll be able to blame something on this, later in life.'