School Psychologist Gifts

'I can understand you getting upset when they make fun of your little arms, but eating your classmates is not the answer.'

"I don't think it's ADD. It's perfectlt normal for your son to be distracted by squirrels."

"He has Attention Surplus Disorder. I suggest putting him in the back of the room."

"Cancel Culture."

"Don't blame me for the grade, blame Google's algorithms."

Ethics exam cheater.

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"They grow up so fast."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"She's been so creative lately."

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

'The child is very illogical'

"That's not how I sat on you."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

Super-Papi moves swiftly to defeat the evil Electronico!

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

Children's artwork exhibition.

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

'What's play?'

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"The Langmore Regional High School Inner Debate Team"