Child Psychologist Gifts

"I believe that's a Montessori school."

A Nursery Rhyme From The American Psychiatric Society

Man pumping 'Ritlain' into a Child Behaviour Clinic,

"Lahwaah, buwha buwhaah, gullygah abawaa mey ayeeyaah. Is that normal?"

'Your father kicked in the screen and threw the set out the window. He feels violence on TV is a bad influence.'

'You'll have to excuse George: he suffers from perfectly normal child disorder.'

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

Parenting manual.

The psychologist suggests you choose your own punishment. So, do you want your mouth washed out with bar or liquid soap?'

'So what's new?' 'Everything.'

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"Maybe little Jack Horner became argumentative because he was backed into a corner, leaving him no options."

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

"Can you recommend a book optimistic about the future that isn't in the fiction section?"

'When did you first notice he had the Blues?'

"He's at that annoying age where they're always testing you."

'When did you first notice he had The Blues?'

'I'm looking for a child psychologist who can communicate with my daughter. Are you good with your thumbs?'

'He's perfectly adjusted to his peer group. That's what I'm worried about.'

"Now, Mrs. Jones, repeat after me..."

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

'Knows right from left, can skip, play well with others...I'm very impressed.'

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

'I started to read the headline but then my mind wandered.'

"Since you don't know how to play house, you can be the dad."

The problem child (Revised edition).

'My ambition is to be a disruptive pupil.'

'The child is very illogical'

School boy nicknames: then and now.

'He's been having temper tantrums. Can you recommend a good anger management course?'

Children Influenced By Parent's Behaviour

'I'm too small for my age: I keep being rejected...'

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

'LET ME THROUGH! I'M A CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST!'

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"