Child Psychologist Fan Gifts

"I would share my cookies, but I'm afraid I'll set up a cycle of dependency."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"They grow up so fast."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"She's been so creative lately."

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

'The child is very illogical'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"That's not how I sat on you."

Super-Papi moves swiftly to defeat the evil Electronico!

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

'What's play?'

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

Children's artwork exhibition.

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

"You're welcome."

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

"I need to know who started it."

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

'I am so proud: My kids are finally fighting all the time!'

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

'I'm not spoiled - I always smell like this.'

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"