Child Psychologists Gifts

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

Please examine your children's tv before they watch it as mistakes can not afterwards be rectified

'Eat your peas!'

"Pardon me, but I couldn’t help noticing how well-behaved your children are. May I ask which medications they’re on?"

"Dear Santa, This Christmas please send clothes for all those poor naked girls on daddy's computer. Love, Veronica"

"He fights me when I tell him to take a nap. When I reword it and say go reboot, he doesn't have a problem."

"The egg and spoon race was a disaster, they eat all the eggs!"

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

'When do they learn to stand upright?'

Arnold's parents should never have let him play outside without supervision.

Life's game plan for pre-schoolers.

Government Test For Babies - 'I don't know what all the fuss is about - he's not stressed by testing at all.'

"You can over-encourage kids, you know."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"They grow up so fast."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

"She's been so creative lately."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

'The child is very illogical'

"That's not how I sat on you."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

Super-Papi moves swiftly to defeat the evil Electronico!

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"