Child Psychologist Humor Gifts

"You only said clean up anything we spill. I threw that."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"They grow up so fast."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

"She's been so creative lately."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

'The child is very illogical'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"That's not how I sat on you."

Super-Papi moves swiftly to defeat the evil Electronico!

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

'What's play?'

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

Children's artwork exhibition.

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"You're welcome."

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

"I need to know who started it."

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

'I am so proud: My kids are finally fighting all the time!'

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

'I'm not spoiled - I always smell like this.'

'I don't care if he does have an I.Q. of 169. I still think he's faking.'

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"