Child Psychologist Humor T-Shirts

"You only said clean up anything we spill. I threw that."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"They grow up so fast."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"She's been so creative lately."

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

'The child is very illogical'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"That's not how I sat on you."

Super-Papi moves swiftly to defeat the evil Electronico!

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

'What's play?'

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

Children's artwork exhibition.

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

'I am so proud: My kids are finally fighting all the time!'

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

"I need to know who started it."

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

"You're welcome."

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

'I'm not spoiled - I always smell like this.'

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone