Pediatric Humor Enthusiast T-Shirts

"It's childhood. Your child has childhood."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

"All my symptoms are old ... "

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"I think it stopped breathing."

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

Happy Birthday to you.

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

Operating Room Humor. Why are anesthesiologists assumed to be honest? Because numb-ers don't lie!

"Gross."