Child Psychologist Mugs

"I believe that's a Montessori school."

A Nursery Rhyme From The American Psychiatric Society

Man pumping 'Ritlain' into a Child Behaviour Clinic,

"Lahwaah, buwha buwhaah, gullygah abawaa mey ayeeyaah. Is that normal?"

'Your father kicked in the screen and threw the set out the window. He feels violence on TV is a bad influence.'

'You'll have to excuse George: he suffers from perfectly normal child disorder.'

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

Parenting manual.

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

The psychologist suggests you choose your own punishment. So, do you want your mouth washed out with bar or liquid soap?'

"Maybe little Jack Horner became argumentative because he was backed into a corner, leaving him no options."

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

"Can you recommend a book optimistic about the future that isn't in the fiction section?"

'When did you first notice he had the Blues?'

"He's at that annoying age where they're always testing you."

'He's perfectly adjusted to his peer group. That's what I'm worried about.'

'I'm looking for a child psychologist who can communicate with my daughter. Are you good with your thumbs?'

'When did you first notice he had The Blues?'

"Now, Mrs. Jones, repeat after me..."

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

'I started to read the headline but then my mind wandered.'

'Knows right from left, can skip, play well with others...I'm very impressed.'

'I'm too small for my age: I keep being rejected...'

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

"Since you don't know how to play house, you can be the dad."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"My summer vacation report contains descriptions of excessive sugar consumption, and unsupervised play. Listener discretion is advised."

The problem child (Revised edition).

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

School boy nicknames: then and now.

Children Influenced By Parent's Behaviour

'My ambition is to be a disruptive pupil.'

'He's been having temper tantrums. Can you recommend a good anger management course?'

'The child is very illogical'

Professional Parents