Student Loan Advisor Gifts

'Hello, Alumni Office? Bad timing. Your fund raising letter arrived with my student loan bills.'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

U of Debt

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

Saving for College.

'So far more education hasn't helped me get a job. I think I'll get some student loans and get some more education.'

"It covers up all the debt."

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

'This charge is for the office visit, this charge is for blood work, and this charge just about pays off the doc's school loan.'

"I'm going to be in the 7th grade before I get all my pre-school loans paid off."

"At this school we stress critical thinking. And right now I'm very critical of your thinking."

'I'm doing this course on, the importance of moderation.'

Uni. Snowflake Library

Gone for Broke College

'With these crazy markets, you have to diversify to protect your money. Put some under your mattress, some in your sock drawer, maybe some in a hole in the yard...'

"Higher learning gets higher each year."

"Please remind your mom and dad that its not a parent-teacher-attorney conference."

'I picked up my Latin from watching Roadrunner cartoons.'

Graduate Job Openings

'Oh he's my loans officer.'

"Don't put your mother on the page, Miss S. Worthington"

'Sorry kids, we've had to introduce parenting fees.'

'True, the Ezra Yomp Scholarship is very generous, but you have to be a capricorn to apply.'

'Even polymaths, Rodney, have to choose a major.'

"I figure that by the time I’m 62, I’ll have no student-loan debt, then, who knows – maybe start a family."

"I had a dream that a rich guy came to campus and paid off our student loans."