Debt Collector Enthusiast Gifts

'To be honest, Dan, I feel kind of embarrassed to use an attorney to collect my felinquent accounts. . . So many of them ARE attorneys.'

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

Ancient Egyptian treasures 3000-900 BC Medieval paintings and sculpture 950-1500 New-in-box Star Wars action figures 1977-1985

'In the future, if we're a little late with your allowance, don't just automatically turn it over to a collection agency.'

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

'If you don't pay us, I'll tell all your creditors you have.'

Company profit making scheme - Jenkins, you owe us £327.95.

Doulton Canada Geese

A collective sigh of relief.

'It says, please disregard this reminder if your payment has already been sent.'

Tourist and Butterfly and Goat

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

Delinquent Accounts - Day Late, Dollar Short.

It's an I-O-Ewe.

"Oh no! - we forgot to pay the exorcist... we've been repossessed!!"

A lesson in wit

The Blings - collectors of jewelry.

Dog Beginning For A Loan

'Looks like you're underwater on your mortgage.'

'It's a bill collector!'

"If we put you in our collections department, Do you think you could hound people?"

'I'm push come to shove. . .'

"Honestly, guys, my check is in the mail."

'Hector owes us money ...'

Abraham Lincoln sends his first bill - Three score dollars and ten.

'And here's the crown jewel of the collection. It's an '86, totally organic, and the UK Bag Manufacturers' Association rates it a 99.'

"Keep up the good work and there'll probably be a nice promotion in it for me."

'You need to alter your portfolio allocation. Right now it's 25% stocks, 15% bonds and 60% margin loans.'

'The check is in the mail...'

I need a ten-letter word for a collector of inexpensive sports memorabilia. A "baublehead."

Ask about the incentive plan - Miss one payment and we take you to court.

'You'll need a better credit rating before we can give you a credit card?'