Collection Enthusiast Gifts

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

Antiques

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

Doulton Canada Geese

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Tourist and Butterfly and Goat

Over-reaction Man.

They're souvenir magnets from all the places we've done battle.

"I'm still looking, sir?"

Authentic Rinkelmier chair (Built 1723)

Books of Tablets

The Old Curiosity Shop

"I've up cycled your Chippendale!"

Antique silver

'And here's the crown jewel of the collection. It's an '86, totally organic, and the UK Bag Manufacturers' Association rates it a 99.'

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the antiques roadshow.

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

'But Grandma, how did you text on them?'

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

'Don't even think about it, Walter.'

"And what do you think my husband is worth?"

'It's not a doll. It's an action figure.'

"If you get that vase, I get this bearded lamp."

Antique Ailments

'I got you three new autographs in the prison yard today... an NFL and NBA player, plus a movie star!'

Antique oriental carpets.

"Well, Emmeline, what's new?"

I need a ten-letter word for a collector of inexpensive sports memorabilia. A "baublehead."

"I'm a hunter-gatherer-hoarder."