Collector At Heart Gifts

"I will not buy a fridge magnet. . ."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

The original paperless office

Early Colour TV

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

Letter Collecting Nerd

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

Pre-Television Man Caves

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

Clock and Watch Shop: Second-Hand Clocks and Minute-Hand Clocks.

Ancient Egyptian treasures 3000-900 BC Medieval paintings and sculpture 950-1500 New-in-box Star Wars action figures 1977-1985

Gadzook used armour. Only one careful owner.

JET (Part I)

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"There's lots of things in my life I absolutely needed to put in, and now there's lots of things in my life I absolutely need to get out."

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Baby face

'...But the good news is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

"Perhaps you're right. Maybe we should upgrade our computer system."

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

Tourist and Butterfly and Goat

Acme Petroleum, since 1925 and 9/10.

August 9, 1857: The World's First Elevator Demonstration

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."