Taxpayer Adventures Gifts

'Since our stadium was built with taxpayer support, I regret to inform you that all incentive and signing bonuses must be returned.'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

"Look at that – they’re retreating!"

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

Budget reaction.

'We learned today that the world is a huge ball, which revolves on it's taxes.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

'Maybe we can't fool all the people all the time, but we sure can tax all the people all the time.'

'If the meek inherit the earth, imagine the capital gains tax.'

PAYMASTER, 'Just to be on the safe side, we withheld EVERYTHING this week.'

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

Tax relief

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."

tax

Inside Jim Flaherty's office.

"Here's a new bill to pay...intellectual property tax!"

"Now they tell me there's a departure tax."

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

"Think of the raising of taxes as a motivational tool to go out and make more money."

'This is great fiction! My cousin, an agent in Hollywood, may be able to sell book and movie rights.'

'The hair-raising twists and turns, the mystery, numbing assault on the mind...THAT'S why I love tax law!'

'I'm being audited! Quick, everyone into the tax shelter!'

'I may feel like a million bucks, but after taxes I look like two dollars and fifteen cents.'

"It's a nice story, Mr. Fergus, but why do you always write in the passive voice?" "I suppose because I've been a taxpayer all my life."

I.R.S. - A non-discriminatory federal agency. We Soak rich and poor alike.

'Thank God I don't live in a Jimmy Choo!'

Tax Reform 'Our only hope is gridlock among the special interest groups.'

American's Funniest Tax Decuctions

"This isn't regular Hell. This is Tax hell, where you'll be audited for all eternity."

"I spent all last year totally paralyzed with indecision about a career - isn't that some kinda tax deduction?"

"Your 'businessman's lunch' was $9.95, sir, but I had to add a 'fair share' surcharge."